Sometimes the confidence we need first comes from someone else’s belief in us.
Yesterday, I watched something remarkable.
Not because of the height of the ropes course or the challenge of the obstacles, but because of the conversations taking place between each platform.
One child was exactly where you’d expect him to be.
Declan charged ahead with confidence, tackling each obstacle without hesitation. He has always been adventurous, curious and willing to try something new.
His younger sister, Shiloh, had a different experience.
Although she’d completed several high ropes courses before, one particular zip line stopped her in her tracks. There were tears. She froze. Fear had taken over.
Karissa didn’t rush her. She didn’t tell her there was nothing to be afraid of. Instead, she gave her one simple sentence to repeat.
“I can do this.”
At every platform she asked the same question.
“What are you telling yourself?”
And each time Shiloh quietly replied,
“I can do this.”
Platform by platform.
Obstacle by obstacle.
She finished the course.
Watching it unfold, I realised something. We often think confidence is something people either have or they don’t.
I’m not convinced that’s true.
I think confidence is often borrowed.
Before we believe in ourselves, someone else believes in us first.
A parent.
A teacher.
A coach.
A mentor.
A leader.
They see something in us that we haven’t yet discovered ourselves. They lend us their confidence until, one day, it becomes our own.
Looking back over my own career, I can think of several people who did exactly that for me.
They trusted me with responsibilities I wasn’t sure I was ready for. They encouraged me when I questioned myself. They saw potential before I could see it.
Without realising it, they were lending me their belief.
I suspect every one of us can think of someone like that.
But the story didn’t end on the ropes course.
Later that day, I watched Declan do exactly the same thing for his sister as they jumped into the lake from a small cliff.
She started with the smallest jump she could find.
Then another.
And another.
With every jump, her confidence grew.
Then something else happened.
Karissa and Declan decided to tackle the more difficult ropes course. There were sections she wasn’t completely comfortable with. Instead of racing ahead, Declan stopped. He waited. He encouraged his mum in exactly the same way he’d seen her encourage his sister earlier that day.
Nobody had told him to do that.
He simply repeated what had first been modelled to him.
That may have been the greatest lesson of the day.
Leadership isn’t merely taught through instruction.
It’s caught through example.
The encouragement we give today becomes the encouragement someone else gives tomorrow.
The belief we invest in another person doesn’t stop with them. It has a way of multiplying as they begin passing it on to others.
Perhaps that’s one of the greatest responsibilities we have as leaders.
Not simply to achieve results.
Not simply to develop skills.
But to leave people believing they are capable of more than they imagined.
Leadership is rarely about having the loudest voice or the biggest title.
More often, it’s about lending someone your belief until they’re able to believe in themselves.
And perhaps the greatest reward of all is seeing that borrowed belief passed on to someone else.
That’s exactly what I witnessed on a mountainside in the French Alps.
A little boy encouraging his sister.
Then quietly encouraging his mum.
The belief that had first been given to him was now becoming a gift he could give to others.
That’s leadership.
And perhaps that’s one of the greatest legacies any of us can leave.
Continue the Journey
Leadership Lessons from the French Alps
This article is part of a series of reflections inspired by our family holiday in the French Alps. If you enjoyed this one, you may also like these:
🌊 The Little Dams We Build
Sometimes leadership is about removing obstacles. Other times, it’s about placing the right challenge in someone’s path to help them grow.
https://open.substack.com/pub/chrisdleonard/p/the-little-dams-we-build?r=6xri9y&utm_medium=ios
🤝 Who Are You Bringing Into the Stream?
The best leaders don’t keep the journey to themselves. They invite others to experience it alongside them.
https://open.substack.com/pub/chrisdleonard/p/who-are-you-bringing-into-the-stream?r=6xri9y&utm_medium=ios
💧 Never Stop Following the Stream
Children never stop asking questions. Perhaps great leaders shouldn’t either. A reflection on curiosity, learning and following problems back to their source.
https://open.substack.com/pub/chrisdleonard/p/never-stop-following-the-stream?r=6xri9y&utm_medium=ios